Power rankings are the solution to all major sports websites’ needs.
They provide weekly material that’s guaranteed to top the “most read” list, they cure any case of occasional writer’s block, they give readers something to sound off on and as a result have spawned a weekly offshoot: The idiotic and infuriated fans’ mailbag.
Man, I tell you what, power rankings are the holy grail of online media.
And you know what else is true about power rankings? They really suck.
Yes, you can reverse that record and even make a phat beat while doing so; power rankings are a worthless waste of space.
Now before you give me impetus to start my own mailbag, let me defend the minority.
First of all it is evident that power rankings must have started from some washed up writer’s power trip. The guy had lost his touch, no one read or listened to him anymore and heck, rumor has it he was even relegated to the blog box at Islanders games.
His solution? Claim that no one else in the world knew jack about which teams had real talent and which were just posing as .850 contenders.
Power rankings are a way for writers to say “I told you so” when the Twins come from 12 games back to take the 2006 AL Central title and a way for writers to say “What? You’re telling me YOU saw that coming?” when the Tigers blow a 12 game lead to cough up the 2006 AL Central title.
With new editions of the power rankings each and every week, writers can ride out their lucky picks and write off their poor gambles. Just remember: In the end the power ranker will always look like a genius.
Boy, there sure are a lot of geniuses out there. So many, in fact, that some websites have multiple gurus providing power rankings at the same time! Why should I care about how Dr. Z ranks the 32 NFL teams on October 26? On the 27th Pete Prisco will surely do it better. And if not, I’ll just go to my local guy in the Minneapolis Star Tribune or the Los Angeles Times or the Fort Lauderdale Lawn Bowler for power rankings from someone who really knows what’s up.
And see, that’s just the thing – even if you do enjoy reading what sports journalists have to say about the status of each team in your favorite league, there’s this thing called the playoffs that will sort it all out (no reading required).
From 2002 to 2006 I bet the Indianapolis Colts spent over 30 weeks atop your guy’s power rankings. That must have meant titles, baby! Right?
In 2007 the power ranking prognosticators finally got it right. Indy was atop everybody’s charts… after week 9. Find me one guy bold enough to put the Colts on top of his list (or even in the top 3) heading into the playoffs.
The playoffs are power rankings’ Lohan. It’s all fun and games until you actually have to drive.
The Mavs were totally the most dominant team in the NBA this year. What, you don’t believe me? Look at the April power rankings!
Power rankings have opened the door for crybaby fans to claim their team was the best even though they didn’t win the title. I never knew the regular season was so salient until recently. Maybe the playoffs should only count for a share of the championship.
Moral of the story: Take the axe to power rankings and we’ll agree to leave them as a speed bump on the road to a better world for modern sports journalism. A world in which interesting sports stories are uncovered and weekly columns tell me something I didn’t already know (or read on your competitor’s website).
Alright so that won’t happen anytime soon, but a man can dream, right?
Still think I’m crazy for hating power rankings? Tell you what… send me a letter, maybe I’ll make a column out of it.
